People watching is an art form. It requires dedication if not intoxication. You sir are a master craftsman...(Jimmy Bastard)
Snoring aside, do I really deserve this?
Mon, 18/01/2010 - 12:21
Sleeping sweetly, snoring probably, dreaming of nonsense that I can't remember. Oh blissful slumber. Ineffably fabulous, frustratingly rare.
Poke, poke, poke.
Dream interrupted, rudely awakened by relentless poking, delivered to my ribs with surgical precision. My wife, still asleep, has some nonsense to say.
"What?" I ask, swatting her hand away from me.
"If you like," she said, "you can sleep in that corner and I'll sleep in this corner or," she offered kindly, "I'll sleep in that corner and you can sleep in this one."
"I'm fine where I am," I said, "but thanks anyway."
Sleeping sweetly, snoring probably, dreaming of nonsense that I can't remember. Oh blissful slumber. Ineffably fabulous, frustratingly rare.
Poke, poke, poke.
Dream interrupted, rudely awakened by relentless poking, delivered to my ribs with surgical precision. My wife, still asleep, has some nonsense to say.
"What?" I ask, swatting her hand away from me.
"If you like," she said, "you can sleep in that corner and I'll sleep in this corner or," she offered kindly, "I'll sleep in that corner and you can sleep in this one."
"I'm fine where I am," I said, "but thanks anyway."
Comments
I read this an all I heard was, "Unlike you guys I'm lucky enough have someone who voluntarily sleeps next to me each night."
Oh, the ceaseless poking that is life. The tragedy of being awakened - and constantly - from ineffably fabulous slumber and delectable dreams. The relegation to particular corners of reality. Short and sweet (I think), as always. Thanks, Mr. Mo. Happy Monday.
Hahahaha! You've been relegated to the corner!
I should try this on my snoring husband.
I often find myself dreaming about falling. Generally I awake to find Joe mostly on my side of the bed, me hanging off the side, and the cat taking up the entire other half of the bed. How does that itty bitty kitty take up so much space? I never did excel at physics. (Hell, I don't even know if physics is the applicable science at which I failed on this one.)
Dude, I've been there too many times to count.
There is only one remedy - trust me. King size Temper-Pedic mattress. No poking or getting awakened because they can't REACH you.
Wait....no.....you can't have been married long enough to have corners already. (getting out my calculator) That's not supposed to happen for (clicking madly)......10 or 15 years from now.
Pokes? All you got was pokes? Consider yourself lucky. I shove.
Haha...I usually GET shoved!
She was being quite kind - usually when I poke my husband in the middle of the night, it's to suggest he roll over on his side before I stuff a sock in his (loudly snoring) mouth.
Poking in the ribs is a slight better than what my husband tries to wake me with.
snoring is a sign of intelligence.
On the upside, she's letting you stay in the bed. :-)
Speaking as the poking wife of another....MOVE YOUR BUTT OVER!!! And stop snoring. I can't get any sleep.
maybe you need one of those plaush blankets...lol.
thanks for the chuckle this morning...all too real around our house, at times.
I like Cheri's comment.
She did this in her sleep, you say? That's pretty tricky.
Methinks the wrong kind of poking was going on.
I fell asleep (read: passed out) on a friends couch this weekend and was riped from my sleep by the sounds of a freight train (read: snoring random guy sleeping on the floor...in the corner).
Isn't Liar funny? My hubs talks in his sleep sometimes and if I ask him a question he;ll give me completely hilarious, nonsensical answers.
Yet another reason why I'm single... Woe be it to anyone who disturbs my slumber.
I've read you have a higher quantity of dreams if you are constantly awakened during the night.
Oh sympathy....just wait for the night she has a cold and starts the snorting herself. The shove hard...
Ahhhh, a sleep-talker. I used to be married to a sleep-arguement-starter. He'd sit up in the middle of the night and start shouting about nonsense, blaming me for things and accusing me of crimes, and I'd tell him to shut up and go back to sleep because he was just dreaming. He'd start arguing with me and then fall asleep mid-yell, leaving me awake, wondering what on Earth was wrong with him. In the morning he'd have no memory of any of it.
See, at least your wife isn't starting fights with you in her sleep, right? ;-)
Aww.
I confess I have jabbed my husband in his sleep (I was awake) but only lightly and only to stop him snoring.
PS, it works.
Before my husband got his snore machine thingamajigger, I poked him relentlessly!
Guilty of poking snoring bedpartner here... I can hear the f****r through f***ing ear plugs.
My wife tries that as well, luckily I can sleep (and snore) through it.
Sheesh! ... it's taken me so long to figure out how to use this poxy thing ... I've forgotten what I was going to say! :/
Oh yes ...
A) I am NOT an old woman! Just because I couldn't work out how to leave a comment!! ... I'm merely a little technically challenged.
B) I hope your wife pokes you MORE!
:P
Thank god your wife is not a teacher teaching some annoyng kids and dreaming about them at night as I once was - I kicked my darling's shin with all the strength I could put together,he woke up in laughter, though, I guess night weakens me.
You might want to show your wife this blog...it could give you some leverage with the snoring:
sleep talkin' man
But don't tell her who told you about it!
I got woken up by loud laughing one night. I was terrified. What do people LAUGH about in their sleep? I want to know. Sleep hilarity.
Oh you deserve it all right, and much worse too, for disturbing the sleep of Mrs S. That's why we have a spare room where I banish M. DeFarge. You're all the same you men.
Just sent your Wife a lump hammer to wake you up with next time. Enjoy.
My wife usually wakes me up with 'Harder, Pablo, harder!'.
And I'm not called Pablo, so consider yourself lucky
Yes.
I deserve it, I am told...so, you deserve it.
ALL husbands deserve it. It is revenge for the snake and apple thing. They wanted that damned apple, we have made them feel guilty for it for eons. Ergo, we get poked...in the night...for eternity.
Better than being punched in the nards...
Those who snore have no rights. Sorry :)
Asleep or awake, everything that my girlfriend says is nonsense!
that was awfully nice of her. I'd have just whammed you and yelled, "Stop snoring!"
I always talk in my sleep. I'm terrified of letting some deformed cat out of the bag, so to speak.
The poking though would result in injury. I do NOT like to be woken up...ever. Unless this poking is of a different nature, and even that is hit and miss.
I'm sooooo glad I don't have anyone around to poke me in the middle of the night... in any form.
My hubs gets several hard jabs in the ribs every night...maybe I should suggest the corner idea.
haha..NO ONE puts MDiddy in the corner.
I end up leaving our bed nearly every night in search of sleep because my husband snores like a freight train. Poking doesn't help - he's hopeless. Sigh!
Being a woman it would be illegal of me to answer your question until I had your wife's point of view... I feel it might be similar to the comment above mine???
Wasn't this snoring thing covered in your pre-nup?
I feel so fortunate that a good poke in the ribs turns my dearly beloved over and he quits snoring.
LOL! I love that your wife speaks nonsense in her sleep. Ant does a little snoring here and there, but I am completely used to it now. I suppose that it's all just part of the white noise that helps me sleep comfortably.
I do hate being wakened from a deep sleep though. It's one of the main reasons as to why I get up 2 hours before everyone else..the kids won't be able to wake me up. One night, I was having the most glorious sleep. Suddenly someone in my dream started saying "Mom, mom" relentlessly. I could feel myself going through curtains of sleep, but I would shrug it off and race back to my dream. "Mom, mom" the person would relentlessly say to me. Until finally I could feel that I was drooling and my brain felt numb. It felt like weeks to pry my eyes open, to see which one was shaking me. Of course you can never go back to that kind of sleep, after your scared kid wakes you up.
They really do not make beds big enough for a married couple!
Heavy pillow... face... hold... count of 25... peace.
LOL! Do you ever ask your wife what her dreams are actually about?!
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