Sisyphus Eat Your Heart Out
A couple embrace, entangled on a bench. Spring flowers surround them. Clusters of crocuses, snowdrops talking amongst themselves. About what? Fairies, bunnies and the joy of life, I suspect. Or nuclear physics and nematode space travelers. Who knows? I could be overestimating the cognitive prowess of a puny snowdrop. Regardless, the scene is delightful.
I savoured the sweet moment as I approached the zebra crossing. Waiting at the crossing was an Asian chap in a leather jacket and ominous black beanie. Never trust anyone wearing a black beanie. I watched in horror as he shamelessly messed with the entire fabric of life as we know it.
He was waiting at the crossing for cars to stop but instead of crossing, instead of exercising his right of way, he was waving the cars on. For drivers this is about as irritating as it gets. You slow down to let the lunatic cross and he waves you on.
This happened again and again. Driver after driver showed their displeasure. Eyeballs rolled, middle fingers were raised, hands gesticulated wildly. Crossing had become a Sisyphean task. Car slows, you walk, profligate wave, car moves forward, you step back. The whole process repeats itself.
I gave him the evil eye, darted across and away from the chaos. Safely away I turned to watch. He finally crossed and without further ado headed straight across the grass over the snowdrops. I feared for their lives.
Comments
He certainly raised a "Sissy Fuss" didn't he?
.-= Scope´s last blog ..Look What I Bought! =-.
You know you are the smartest man alive, right?
.-= Mo´s last blog ..The Rolex and the Unhealthy Zorro Obsession =-.
If it weren't for the utter fact that I am marrying Cora, (which is honestly more "luck" than "smart") I would have to disagree.
.-= Scope´s last blog ..Look What I Bought! =-.
Too late, I'm afraid, I've already shipped your "smartest man alive" reward. If you like, give it to someone else when it arrives.
.-= Mo´s last blog ..The Rolex and the Unhealthy Zorro Obsession =-.
You have snowdrops? Must have been planted blooming by the council...never liked black beans, only baked ones
The last time I had baked beanies on toast I got a stomach upset.
Get those snowdrops! They've bullied my daffs into not opening this year, and deserve all they get.
.-= ubergrumpy´s last blog ..Teeth, and the Decline of the British Empire =-.
Consider it done. In fact, I'm heading out onto the green in a steamroller right now, fancy a ride?
That's not a bad thing. At the very least it should keep you safe when crossing roads, especially in those yellow heels.
Who would have ever thought that crossing the road would be so involved?
.-= otin´s last blog ..Dear Otin =-.
It didn't surprise me, to be honest, protocol violators are everywhere!
I'm a little worried about the possible demise of the innocent bystander snowdrops.
Apparently it is a truth universally known that Satan wears a black beanie, and yet I somehow missed that memo. Thanks for the safety tip, fine citizen of the world.
You missed the memo? Sorry about that, I'll take a look.
*
Unfortunately your email was misspelt. You should get the next memo.
Pah, pure pish! Everyone knows that the flowers in Harrogate are purely of the tulip variety, and I cannae for the life of me see any drunken hairy-arsed rugby players tip-toeing through that little lot.
.-= Jimmy Bastard´s last blog ..Lickspittle for Christ =-.
Pish? Tulips? Nonsense my friend, I know a snowdrop when I see one.
Your ability to paint word portraits, silly and serious, never ceases to amaze me. Now I will be thinking about ominous black beanies (and the fabric of life) for the duration of this fine day.
I'd never really thought about it before, but by golly, you're right - those black beanies are damn ominous.
.-= Jan´s last blog ..Broccoli Salad =-.
I know, I've stopped wearing mine, too many people cross to the other side of the road.
.-= Mo´s last blog ..The Rolex and the Unhealthy Zorro Obsession =-.
There is nothing more frustrating, you're right. Just GO. Please, person on foot. Get the EF out of my way slowpoke.
Grrr...
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Ugh...a teaser post. =-.
"Slowpoke"? I've not heard that one before.
.-= Mo´s last blog ..The Rolex and the Unhealthy Zorro Obsession =-.
Mo, you haven't heard of slowpoke?
.-= Surge´s last blog ..Misikko review (and something for you *giveaway) =-.
Listen, I just thought it was a Pokemon character.
Never Trust Anyone Wearing a Black Beanie. Sage advice, my friend. Sage advice.
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..Meatless Monday: Indian Dhal =-.
I take it you've ditched your beanie collection then?
.-= Mo´s last blog ..The Rolex and the Unhealthy Zorro Obsession =-.
He should be made an example of. Maybe mount his head above the crosswalk. With the beanie still on, of course.
.-= Captain Dumbass´s last blog ..Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due =-.
That's right, it would make an example of the beanie too.
.-= Mo´s last blog ..The Rolex and the Unhealthy Zorro Obsession =-.
More frustrating is when nobody stops at all. Zebra crossings here are only used for bait for tourists ;)
.-= Eternally Distracted´s last blog ..No more visitors = No more excuses =-.
Where I am, Yorkshire, it is a nightmare to be a pedestrian. A Yorkshireman likes nothing more than to plough over pedestrians in his Range Rover on the way to collect his paper.
.-= Mo´s last blog ..The Rolex and the Unhealthy Zorro Obsession =-.
Ohhh "zebra crossing" is a crosswalk -- I thought you were posting while on holiday in Africa. ;->
.-= Rochelle´s last blog ..Six Word Saturday: Not Ready =-.
I don't think I was in Africa, but you might be right. I did feel a bit jetlagged this morning.
.-= Mo´s last blog ..The Rolex and the Unhealthy Zorro Obsession =-.
Ugh, I hate people who think they're being polite by "giving up" their right of way. That's how traffic accidents happen.
.-= Soda and Candy´s last blog ..Sweet, sweet candy. =-.
Agreed. Captain Dumbass has outlined an excellent solution.
.-= Mo´s last blog ..The Rolex and the Unhealthy Zorro Obsession =-.
Ack! How irritating. I'd have flipped him off, too.
.-= Bev´s last blog ..TV Pimpery =-.
Ha, yeah, you mean you did, right? I thought I saw you drive by.
I do not understand why some people have to be so obnoxious. Do you think he was truly trying to be polite or was he just doing his bit for chaos?
.-= ananda girl´s last blog ..Walk of Life =-.
I think he saw his role as one of chaos creation. A bit like the villain in The Fifth Element perhaps.
oh, I'm so relieved.
I thought the title was sissy pus - and you were writing about poofs with the clap.
.-= Tristan Robin´s last blog ..These are a few of my favorite (pink) things... =-.
Your relief is my relief my friend.
Oh, well, obviously he was waiting for just the right car to cross in front of. Must have something to do with his personal superstitions. So did the black beanie have a whirlygig on top? That might have explained it.
.-= ellen abbott´s last blog ..escaping winter's grasp =-.
You mean did his beanie have a prop? No, but mine did...
Let's see... The Pope wears a white beanie, the cardinals wear red beanies... but as you say, don't trust the guy in a black beanie.
.-= Eric´s last blog ..When Gravity and Marble Don't Mix (Quando la Gravità e Marmi Fatto Problemi) =-.
I couldn't have summed it up better myself.
He probably knew that the black beanie marked him as a target and was sure that the cars who were slowing, were simply trying to lure him out into the open so they could run him over (for the good of the whole).
Ergo, he's evil, but not dumb.
You should have pushed him into oncoming traffic. Oh well, next time.
Now you know.
.-= Michel´s last blog ..Explaining American Holidays ..or Maybe it was Irish....I'm Not Really Sure =-.
If only I had had you with me as my mentor.
Zebra crossing?! What? I thought maybe you were at the zoo.
Also, never underestimate the intellectual prowess of a snowdrop. Mensa has several snowdrop members.
You're probably right, they're so cute and dainty but packed with phenomenal brains.
Last time it was Primula squirty cheese, today it's beanie. I learn some new vocabulary whenever I read a post or comment of yours.
I keep my fingers crossed for the snowdrops.
.-= Minka´s last blog ..Wind Day =-.
Man I could really do with some Primula now.
It's no mystery to me. I knew someone once who had Syphilis. It slowly ate their brain, and..a major appendage. They ran around with the same type black beanie to hide the hole in their head...and of course, a fig leaf. Sad sight really.
Scope may be the smartest but you, friend, are the funniest man alive. Or at least, you and Rubbish are tied and will have to fight it out.
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