If you missed Tuesday's post, a riveting tale by TheInfoPreneur (the new McNab), then make sure you check it out. You won't regret it. Today I have the pleasure of handing my blog over to JenJen, of Jen's Voices. If you've missed me this week (I know Jimmy Bastard has been beside himself) I'll be back next week. With vengeance. Anyway, JenJen is funny, witty and a classy writer and it's a real treat to have her. Over to you girl...
I begged them to let me go; it was the first party I was invited to so it was imperative that I be there. More than imperative; it was critical for my success and advancement in the High School Pecking Order. It's a tough world out there in the halls of secondary education and by God, come hell or high water I wanted my spot.
The approval I got was based on a set of falsehoods I delivered as answers to some tough questions:
"Will there be drinking?"
"bah. Heh. ...No...duh? We're not old enough pfft. meh..I mean..come on mom.."
Even at sixteen I was the picture of calm and cool, much like today really.
"Will her parents be there?"
"Ahem...mom..of course they will be. I mean I'm sure. Like totally sure..."
How this even passed as an valid answer shows that either my parents were setting me up or they were stoned and didn't realize they were being set up.
When I received the nod, I ran frantically to my closet to try on everything twice and then again with shoes only to find, much like this morning: nothing to wear.
Such is life for a girly girl, I guess.
I decided on something mint green and pink...I remember the outfit. It was my favorite at the time. I called up my friends from my bedroom and we made plans to meet at a house down the street. One can of Aqua Net, a tube of pink shimmery lip gloss and a bazillion plastic bangle bracelets and I was r-e-a-d-y to fly.
Would you believe that there was drinking?
Shocking.
And?
Her parents were actually in Myrtle Beach?
I know. How irresponsible. Of them.
I was offered my first beer. I remember thinking, "well crap this tastes like...well, crap. And dirt. Mixed with soap."
Totally awesome. So I had another.
And a few more "anothers" after that.
So much more "anothers" that when Brian Korte. knocked over the speaker through the glass door, I didn't really notice.
So much that when I heard, "the COPS ARE COMING!" it took me a little bit too long to react.
So much that when I tried to scale the tall red fence in my Keds, I laughed because I couldn't grip the wood to climb over and ended up tush down on the damp grass below.
So much that when I decided to just simply leave via the driveway, in a run, I laughed when I ran into someone.
"oops! Sorry, hey..." I was brushing the grass from my behind, "...the cops are coming, you gotta split."
And when I look up?
Officer AntiTeenDrinking is standing before me.
Not pleased.
I ran into him.
Totally. Busted.
He was nice enough to drive me home. All four blocks and four blocks of lecture. Did I stop drinking at parties? Heck no.
I learned to wear shoes with better grippy souls.
The "sequel" to Perdido Street Station, one of my absolute favourites, and I'm enjoying it just as much, if not more so.
The worlds and races Mieville creates are simply superb. If you've not read this series and you like "weird fiction" then please crack on and get reading.
Comments
So, did Officer AntiTeenDrinking squeal to your folks?
.-= Jan´s last blog ..It Would Appear So =-.
Jan, he actually told me that if I didn't tell them myself, he'd report me.
I had no idea what that meant so I of course did what he said and got myself appropriately grounded.
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
Have you any idea how many hours I've spent standing behind the curtains watching every car that pulled into my road past the back of midnight?
Two daughters... a long memory of my own youth, you've brought it all back again.
Damn you!
.-= Jimmy Bastard´s last blog ..Who the Hell is Mac? =-.
By the way.... Mo who?
.-= Jimmy Bastard´s last blog ..Who the Hell is Mac? =-.
I can't speak for Mo, but he's moving house (again, I know, but still within Harrogate and so WILL go to Graveleys fish and chips as you have requested) and will probably be back next week with a bang and some more pub stories will emerge.
.-= Mo´s last blog ..Nice Belt Buckle, Occifer =-.
Sorry Jimmy Bastard! I am currently corrupting a daughter of my own, who is only 8 now and at least 20 years from misbehaving in that fashion.
Right?
RIGHT?
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
hAHAH....I can't tell you how many times we would all panic when someone yelled COPs!!! So we'd fly out the backdoor and run away. We always parked blocks away JUST IN CASE
Oh, Montana....it was the perfect beginning to my future plans to turn to a life of crime...
.-= Michel´s last blog ..It's Like Sudan WANTS Me to Mock It... =-.
Well Michel you were totally badass and obvioulsy way cooler than me.
I bet you still are... Montana. Hm.
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
Good first drinking / party story there. Why is it that drinking and the police almost never mix well?
.-= Eric´s last blog ..Another Reason Why the U.S. Postal Service Is Lame (Il Servizio Postale è Male) =-.
It is strange that it seems to work out that way, doeesn't it. Darn cops.
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
Excellent story, reminds me of growing up partying at "woodsies" out in the mountains. We would 4-wheel into an area we were sure the police couldn't get to. The flaw in our plan was we had to try and 4-wheel back out while wasted.
.-= Skylers Dad´s last blog ..Until I get some sort of actual blog fodder... =-.
We partied at a place like that, off the beaten path in a underdeveloped area. Our struggle was when party time was over, remembering how to get out. Good times, good times.
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
Aah, happy memories. Sort of. Except me replaced by you. In a different country. At different times.
But otherwise, spot on. It's like you delved into my memories, maaan.
Happy ish memories love. ISH. And? I totally delved in there. and? ooooh scary. Except this one area...oh you naughty thing. Tsk tsk.
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
Ha. My only run in with the cops is when they had to drive my sister to the hospital ...
Oh my I hope....um...I hope there was a baby involved. Like on on the way right now.
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
This was really fun to read Jen!
I'm still upset that I haven't been able to guest for month but such is life!
I never really snuck out to parties, but I did sneak girls in my room all the time, my mom would get so mad hearing all the commotion!
Ps: mo, you're moving agai!? Did the garbage can ghost spook you out of the house?
Mr C, Thanks honey. And? I would have totally been a snuck-ee. You seem like lots of fun.
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
Stupid bb always changes "Mo" to month
Well, we all know what they say about bad workmen and their Blackberries.
.-= Mo´s last blog ..Nice Belt Buckle, Occifer =-.
Oh my gosh, so funny! I am terrible at fence climbing...grippy soles or not...so I would have been right there with you!
.-= Jen @ lifelove'n'wine´s last blog ..Remembering Maddie =-.
OMG I remember my neighbor hopping over a chain link fence one time and caught the ass of her bathing suit on the spoke.
(insert hysterical laughter here)
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
I distinctly remember having a conversation with a police officer's tie clip after one of my own parties. I don't plan on any parent only trips until my boys are graduated and away in college.
.-= Captain Dumbass´s last blog ..2022: A Popcorn Odyssey =-.
OMG me too. I'm so nervous because my husband was a whole lot worse than me. Whole lots. lots of whole lots.
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
The lessons we learned as teenagers were the best! Don't like dark beer, try a light one.
Sneaking out through the back door doesn't work, go through the window instead.
My parents don't like a girl I hang out with, tell them you are hanging out with someone else.
Teenage mentality was awesome. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days....
Yankee Girl, Good grief you've brought back so many cringeworthy moments. The window. The lying. hay...is your name Tammy and did you live in Michigan??
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
Awwwww, the memories start flooding my swimming in beer brain. Those were the days, your story could be any number of mine...except of course you would look way better than me in it.
.-= The Urban Cowboy´s last blog ..Tiger got Nike =-.
Urban Cowboy, HA this was one of many...wait. No. This was the only story of mine. I was an innocent girl.
.-= JenJen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
UH HUH...yea, right...I was thinking the same thing.
On the Crazy Train
Very funny! I like your true life tales, they tend to bring back a lot of memories for me.
.-= otin´s last blog ..The wooden box (Theme Tuesday-Thursday) =-.
Glad I could make the master giggle!
nice... didn't anyone tell you that you were supposed to run FROM the cops, not run INTO them?
i used to review applications for my law school. this one guy got drunk and went over to an empty police car. always wanted to know what it'd feel like to sit inside one. he kept both feet outside the vehicle, but next thing you know, he's on his ass, in cuffs and being arrested for attempted grand theft auto... (i have no idea why your post made me think of that - i blame it on the lack of sleep)
.-= jaime´s last blog ..What's in the Box? =-.
Yea, me either. WTF?!
A delight!
.-= anandagirl´s last blog ..OMSI =-.
why thank you!
Classic. Well done.
.-= Pseudo´s last blog ..Oahu Coffee Beat: Traveling Thursday =-.
Ha thank you!
Oh I can just picture you sassy little JenJen...I know this memory as I lived it once too. Or twice. Only made worse for me by the fact my Father was a police officer. NICE.
.-= JennyMac´s last blog ..Your mouth can thank me later =-.
Oh my...That would have ruined my social life. For sure.
.-= Jenjen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
Grippy shoes, always wear the grippy shoes!
Aaaack! Total Rubber Soles.
.-= Jenjen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
Ooops, Mo, I finally figured out what you told me ages ago...you're right, my link said blogspoNt. Doh! My bad. All better.
Happy Weekend.
.-= lola sharp´s last blog ..Whatever Lola Wants, Lola GIVES! So Tonight I Make a Toast.. =-.
Why is it that the policemen never find it as funny as we so?
.-= blognut´s last blog ..Can I Still Be Bitchy Without Damaging the Universe? =-.
They can't have a sense of humor; it's on the application.
.-= Jenjen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
If it happened today, the kid would know to scream "sexual harassment" and get the policeman suspended.
This brings back such fond memories of ralphing in all my friends' hedges at some point or another...and perhaps a pool or two.
.-= Tristan Robin´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
Oh man Tristan, you've just reminded me of the hedge at the corner, it was so prickly on my butt.
One time.
.-= Jenjen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
I have many a story about me being a total twit and lying to mom's and cops. I've tried so so so hard to block that shit out. Because, you know, I'm reformed! Obviously!
That. Is. Funny.
Reformed my ass.
.-= Jenjen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
lol! if i had a dollar for every time my parents asked me growing up "are so-and so's parents going to be there?", i think i'd be rich.
p.s. their parents were NEVER there :)
.-= Slyde´s last blog ..Reading Is Fundamental =-.
ps....you're totally on to me.
.-= Jenjen´s last blog ..Are Mad Dogs Pissed Off or Crazy? =-.
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